


Strange Steps

by NoNomDePlume



Series: Aither University of Demigods [3]
Category: Cobra Starship, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Blow Jobs, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Bottom Frank Iero, Demigods, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Greek gods, Mental Health Issues, Non-Binary Frank iero, Oral Sex, Other, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Rimming, Romance, Soulmates, Top Gerard Way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22545814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoNomDePlume/pseuds/NoNomDePlume
Summary: There is no such thing as a relationship with no problems. Even the most fated partners cry and scream at each other every now and again. People fight, it's in their nature. And no one fights more than a couple.Before this stability of never too high and never too low though, comes a wave high enough to be a tsunami. It'll inevitability catch up to every blooming partners that's just starting out their discoveries of strengths.And weaknesses.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Aither University of Demigods [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594054
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Strange Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Sorta inspired by the story of Hermaphroditus

There is no such thing as a relationship with no problems. Even the most fated partners cry and scream at each other every now and again. People fight, it's in their nature. And no one fights more than a couple.

Before this stability of never too high and never too low though, comes a wave high enough to be a tsunami. It'll inevitability catch up to every blooming partners that's just starting out their discoveries of strengths.

And weaknesses.

"Frankie." Gerard whispered, closed to Frankie's ears.

The lights in the room was turned off a significant amount. Frankie insisting by stumbling their slightly drunk ass to the light switch until the room was shrouded in darkness. Gerard hated it, hated he can't see Frankie in all their beautiful glory and went to try to undo the very thing Frankie was so adamant about. They argued for a minute, but they didn't stray away from each other's body too long. Gerard ended up pulling the strings to the old school bedside lamp of his and Frankie ended up putting up with it.

"Yeah..." Frankie moaned out when Gerard grounded particularly harsh. Their bodies were aligned perfectly and it didn't took them too long to get this way. Like their bodies were longing to fit with each other.

Gerard put his hands out, spread around Frankie's face as he pulled back. Frankie was damned gorgeous. Their eyes were painted with red glitter before they went out to one of Gabe's shindig. They decided to wear a black tennis skirt with a deep burgundy shirt that matches their glittered eyes. Gerard felt sorta out a place for just wearing a t-shirt. But today was special to Frankie, they wanted to impress on their six months anniversary.

six months of them being together, kissing, cuddling. Never more though, not till tonight.

Gerard being a gentleman that he is, almost forget their anniversary and had to run to six different flower shop before finding one that sold hyacinths. It's a good thing Frankie was too preoccupied looking at their reflection in the mirror assessing for the last time that day on what they were about to do at the end of it, to notice Gerard ran fifteen minutes late and his pit stains were showing.

They had a great day though. Frankie paid for lunch before they head off to Gabe's and now the night has led up to them right there, in Gerard's dorm room.

Gerard ran his hand from Frankie's knees to their upper thighs, gripping the soft flesh ever so slightly, soliciting a groaned from Frankie. "Gerard...what'd you want?"

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was something else. But the more Gerard roamed their body the more sick to the stomach they felt.

"For you to feel good." Gerard continue his slow grinding motion, leaning down more so Frankie's thighs were spread opened almost painfully to accommodate Gerard's body. Gerard leaned down to capture Frank's glitter painted lips in between his own, biting and watching Frankie hissed before moving on to their neck, nipping their jaws. Hand's roaming up and down the smaller's thighs, then up underneath the shirt and eventually settling down on the lower part of Frankie's stomach.

Frankie pulled Gerard's hair a little when Gerard settled his hand lightly right there. Their eyes shot open wide as they watch the ceiling start to spin.

They feel sick and they want to vomit.

"Fuck Frankie." Gerard hands moved higher and it dragged Frankie's shirt along with it. Their skin prickled with the motion, a flash of cold emptiness ran through Frankie's spine and Frankie gasped and not in a good way, their hands shot almost immediately to Gerard's gliding one.

Gerard pulled back as soon as this happened, a question look in his eyes Frankie's face was scarily neutral, their eyes glazed with an empty faraway look and the semi that they were sporting started to die down in their pants. Frankie pushed Gerard on his back, his body bouncing of the bed just a little, hands still reaching out to the smaller, steady and heavy on their waist.

Frankie immediately went to straddle Gerard, careful to not let their deflated semi anywhere near where Gerard can feel it. They tried calming their racing heart to no avail. With slightly shaky hands Frankie started to unzip Gerard's pants, a small hesitant smile on their face.

Gerard figured that they were nervous.

Frankie leaned in, breath smelt of alcohol as their lips finally reached Gerard's ears. They kissed it, the action almost adorably out of place before steadying themself. "Happy anniversary." Frankie whispered, voice low and seductive, overtly so to cover the small crack in their voice on the last syllable.

Gerard drew a sharp breath, spine tingling, cock getting achingly hard. Frankie drew back, smiling before realizing it was too much of an effort to make it look realistic as they finally look down to Gerard's straining member. Hair falling carefully so it fell into Frankie's face.

It's no secret to them that they both has done this before. But for one of them, they never really gotten to go all the way. There was a reason for that. That reason is the same reason that is making Frankie's hand shake and their heart palpitate as they free Gerard's member from it's elastic restraint.

Gerard didn't notice the whirlwind that settled itself inside Frankie's mind during all this. The first touch of Frankie's hands to his dick had sent precum out of Gerard's cock. Just the light touch.

Frankie was gonna be the death of him.

And the same goes for Frankie when it comes to Gerard. Just not in the same way.

Frankie jerked Gerard's cock slowly and firmly, their hands curling around the head as they pushed their thumb in his slit. Drawing a broken moaned from Gerard. "Oh shit Frankie."

But it fell on deaf, muddled, and slightly ringing ear. A stray tear had fallen from Frankie's face and onto Gerard's rock-hard member. And Frankie scrambled to wipe the tears away with their other hand, glad that Gerard didn't notice the slip up.

When Gerard's voice got higher and his moans was coming in succession Frankie stopped jerking Gerard off. Their hands settled on the base of Gerard's thick member as they lean down to place a soft kiss to the head.

"Fuck Frankie, you're gonna kill me."

And Frankie had to admit, the compliment felt nice to hear. It didn't stick long though. Frankie didn't waste any time then, swallowing the whole of Gerard's member until their nose hit their fingers on the base of Gerard's length. Nose tickled by the soft pubic hair there. Frankie stayed there for only a second to adjust to the intrusion, relaxing their throat.

"Shit shit shit." Gerard was panting, Frankie's name coming out of his mouth every now and again.

It helped Frankie a little to know that Gerard liked what they were doing. That at least they're not as useless as the way they feel.

Frankie sucked, hard, lips stretched as they start to bob their head up and down Gerard's cock. Drool dribbling the side of their mouth as the motion got faster and faster. Frankie pulled up right to the head before going back down, gagging themself over and over on Gerard's dick.

"F-f-fuck fuck Frankie...Frankie!" Was the only warning that they had before Gerard was coming down his throat. His white hot seed spurting down the back of their throat as they swallow it all, bobbing their head a little before they pull up.

Gerard was dead to the world. His hips was still gyrating despite the lack of stimulation, or even want of stimulation, his cock was getting soft. Frankie had fallen to Gerard's side, body thumping as they lay there motionless.

It took another minute for Gerard's racing heart to calm down, before he realized Frankie never got to come. "Here." His hands shot out to their skirt only for them to stop it midway.

"It's okay Gee...I'm fine." They said before kissing Gerard's nose.

"But y-"

"I'm fine Gee." Frankie said more firmly this time. "Come on, cuddle me yeah?" They turned on to their side, not bothering to indulge on more of Gerard's protest. Their body faced the wall, legs carefully positioned to cover their dick. Their very flaccid dick.

Gerard didn't know what to do or how to feel for a second, but eventually his hands settled to the other's waist, inching closer to their stomach as he pulled them into his chest. Frankie closed their eyes, wanting to just forget whatever just happened. "Good night." Gerard placed a soft kiss to Frankie's head before he passed out not a few minutes later. It was an amazing feat without the aid of alcohol, but Frankie really did gave him an amazing blow job that it practically sucked all his energy through his dick.

Frankie didn't gave themself too much credit though. Or even at all. It was just another emotionless motion that they did, that they usually did to every boyfriend they ever had. Well one other than Gerard, the others were more of a failed attempt to get over said one. The one that thought him a lot about the world. And how unintentionally cruel it can be sometime. Like the warm body behind them that was snoring softly into their back, that was oblivious to the conflict in their mind. Oblivious to the fact that he had hurt them.

The silence of the room was deafening, but it accompanied their racing mind. They really thought they were ready. Turns out the opposite was true. Even when they give themself that sort of fucked up pep talk in the morning. They knew it didn't really help with anything. Not when their eyes still roamed their body, lingering on their elbow, or their chin, or that weird lump to their left hip that wasn't really mirrored on the right one.

Minutes passed into hours as the darkness of the night dwindle to the break of dawn. Frankie didn't sleep a wink. A glance at their phone indicated that it was five in the morning. Frankie sat up absentmindedly, wanting to relief their bladder only to come face to face with the full body mirror that stood right at the foot of Gerard's bed, leaned against the wardrobe haphazardly, one of it's legs missing. They’ve never noticed it’s presence there before.

Frankie was consumed with what they see. An image of...someone, staring back at them.

It was like an itch that they can never seem to scratch. The way it moves every time they try and look for it and never really going away until it does so on it's own. But really that itch settles deep inside them, never really cured, never really scratched. That was what it felt like to Frankie.

As their feet dangle an inch above the floor. They sat slouched in front of the mirror, only taking their eyes of it once when Gerard snored loudly in the back. That only drew their attention for so long.

It was like a psychedelic trip. The way their face morph over time the more they stare at a spot longer than they probably should have. It was the things that peaked through their skirt that caught their attention first. Their eyes widen just a tiny bit when they notice the gap in between them was getting smaller, the thought of how they were sitting could be a factor didn't even cross their mind. What did though was the thought of getting fatter. The word clicked in their brain as their eyes shift towards their stomach, a sliver of skin peeking through. Frankie's hand moved to rid themself of the shirt until they were topless.

New expanse of flesh became visible to their eyes. Their gaze fell upon the slight chub on their stomach, Frankie pinched it in between their fingers seeing it jiggle a bit with the motion. It seems their eyes couldn't settle on that one particularly awful part alone.

Frankie raked their eyes up to their chest, seeing how the slight plump played factor on how their chest looked a bit bigger now. Full of more and more fat undoubtedly. Frankie has always hated their chest in particular. It looked to flat and foreign in their body that it almost felt detached from it. Frankie longed for the swell of a breast there, whether it be small or not. But at the same time, they don't.

Truth is they don't know what they wanted.

As their eyes continue their path of destruction, picking and choosing parts of their bodies that they hate most and the ones that they hate less. Cause let's be honest, what is there to love. It moved from the chest down to the hips and being fascinated with how lopsided it looks again. Then it continued down to the crotch, Frankie slipping their cotton underwear off to set their small member free. It was too small or maybe not small enough. Frankie's not sure which they wanted more. Then it went to the elbows down to the knees, to the blades of their shoulders, even to the space between their eyes. They hate it. Hate it all.

And people say their beauty rivals that of his mother.

No.

It came as a surprise when Frankie felt their eyes getting heavy and then they look out to see a sliver of light peeking through the windows. It was morning. They have stayed up till morning.

Frankie scrambled for their phone, seeing that it was now ten. They had no classes today so they were content to pick and prod some more. Well, 'content' might not be the right word. That was the whole point.

"Urggh." Gerard hates morning. He was well aware that his so called 'morning' usually takes place loosely in that time. His brain wasn't wired to be up this early. Funny considering that he's supposed to be Apollo's son, the literal Sun God. Though to that Gerard always try and argue to himself that it fell more onto Helios' domain and let that be that. Never mind his father took the reign from him millennia ago.

Gerard sat up slowly, not really wanting it, or liking it.

Frankie quickly put their shirt back on, wiping tears of their face that they didn't remember shedding. They grabbed their underwear as there was no time to put it back on and ran to Gerard's bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Frankie? You okay?" Gerard asked, he was a bit disappointed of being deprived to waking up to Frankie yet again. Since the last few days he's been so busy with classes that he had to wake up early and leave Frankie before the other wake up. As bad as Gerard is with waking up in the morning, Frankie is worst. And yet they looked like they've sat there on the edge of the bed for quite a while. Gerard was a bit concerned.

He got up and walk to the bathroom, knocking on the door softly as to not scare Frankie. "Hey, you okay?" He asked again when Frankie hasn't answer.

"Y-yeah." They shouted. "I just - feel gross so I wanted to shower." Feeling gross was an understatement.

"Oh – okay." He said, not really knowing what else to say but he figured he should shower too before class. "Can I shower with you?"

"Fuck." Frankie hissed under their breath.

"What was that?"

"N-nothing, nothing. I just, I thought your class starts in like five?" Frankie tried, knowing Gerard's class doesn't start for another hour. It's why they chose to stay up so late, even going to Gabe's party.

"Oh...right. I should probably get dress." Gerard can read the room, knows when he's unwanted.

He shook his head, sighing, he grabbed a shirt and put it on haphazardly. Somewhere on the other side of the door he heard Frankie turn the showers on. He stripped his jeans off, legs feeling numb and crusty for sleeping in such an uncomfortably stiff pants. He switched it with a pair of sweats not really caring about his looks. He already felt unwanted in his own room, Frankie made sure of that.

Hesitantly, he walk back up to Frankie's door. He wanted to say something, asked about what he did wrong. Ask if it was about yesterday Ask if it was because Frankie thinks he was shitty in bed. Or if it was because he didn't reciprocate. He didn't though. He just felt unwanted as his fist fly an inch away from the door, he ripped it away. Gathering his keys, wallet, and phone before going out and slamming the door behind him.

This was not how Gerard imagined their six-month anniversary to lead too.

Frankie heard the door slammed shut, knew he had anger Gerard on top of most likely disappointing him for yesterday. For not letting him fuck them like the night was intending to go. Frankie sobbed underneath the harsh beating of water. They wanted it all to go away, whatever this feeling that they had.

Their hands shot out from underneath the warm stream of water, as he turned the water to cold. Steadily the stream becoming colder and colder. Frankie hunched in on themself, eyes close as their hands wrapped tightly around their body. Their back hitting the wall before skidding down until he was sitting there bare underneath the heavy stream of icy water.

They hated it. Hate what they are and that it has to ruined yet another relationship. Why can't they just be normal? Be a he or even a she because at least then things would make more sense.

They contemplate this for a long time. Wasting water that other people in the world probably need and feeling shitty about it.

This was not how Frankie thinks the morning after was going to be.

*

It goes without saying that the next few days after was tense between the couple.

It's not like they were fighting. They're not sure what to call whatever they're doing is. But it was clear that there was an elephant in the room that they keep dancing around by utilizing small familiar gestures, like kisses on the cheeks and hugs that last a minute too long. Things that were familiar and comfortable to both of them. At least it was. But the touches felt foreign and unwanted by both party that they were stuck on a loop of trying more and more.

For Gerard at least.

He tried to draw in the more physical side of Frankie. He was still angry and frustrated with what ever happened on the day after their anniversary. He felt like shit too, crying once or twice about it to Ryan, his roommate when Frankie wasn't around. They weren't around much anymore.

During all this Frankie was also preoccupied with themself. Dewees were starting to worry with how much Frankie likes to sulk and lock him out of their shared room. Dewees would let them, his mission in life was to take care of Frankie. But it was getting more and more concerning how pale Frankie looks every time they finally let Dewees in and he can see their face.

Dewees got concerned, started asking questions on what is going on. Frankie wouldn't answer but the change did happen right after the anniversary date.

Dewees had gotten back from his early morning classes only to find Frankie face down on their still made bed.

"How'd the date go?" He had asked only for Frankie to not answer. Or react, or even acknowledge he was in the room in any way. If it weren't for the fact their back was still moving, he would have thought Frankie was dead. But he didn't get an answer, not even a groan or a sigh for him to indicate which way Frankie was leaning towards with their feelings.

After that there was no answer. And Dewees came to the conclusion it was Gerard. But he'll step away from the situation until he knows more.

Frankie was busy to meet Gerard. They didn't want to. Didn't want to see the disappointed look on his face when he finally saw them again.

They know how it would go. Gerard would take a look at his face first, sneering in disgust. Then he would roam his eyes downward, casting a glare to each body part he found wrong. He would step back in sheer horror of Frankie's body and run away.

That's what Frankie would do. What Frankie was busy doing. Casting glances to his ever-ugly body.

Their mom would be so proud.

"Hey." Gerard kissed Frankie on the cheek, startling the younger one who managed not to see Gerard come in despite being sat in front of a mirror.

"What are you doing?" Gerard asked when he noticed how odd it was for Frankie to be sitting in front of a mirror with no context what so ever.

Frankie blinked a couple of times before coming back to themself, standing up with a light groan. They swear they can hear their ass creak from having sat too long on the hardwood floor. "I thought you had another class?" Frankie asked, their hands automatically hugging themself. Fingers massaging and rubbing their elbows over the thick sweater.

"I forgot my book." Gerard said, Frankie now noticing his haste. Rummaging through the room. "I thought you had class, what are you still doing here?" Gerard didn't mean it to come out as rude as it did. He was still annoyed. Frankie had spent the night not wanting Gerard to feel suspicious and they had rutted together on the bed until they both had come unsatisfyingly.

Gerard slept annoyed last night and Frankie slept feeling awful of themself.

Frankie's eyes widen just a bit before it flutter to the small clock on Gerard's desk. 16:21. _Fuck_ they were late.

"I felt sick." Which wasn't completely false. They do feel sick of themself.

Gerard stopped through his stuffing of books in his backpack to look at Frankie. "You okay?" Because no matter how miffed he is with Frankie he still loves them.

Love.

Another awkward thing that they haven't come around to talk about.

Gerard stepped forward, putting the back of his hand to Frankie's temple. "You don't feel warm."

Frankie stepped back and Gerard hand fell back to his side. "No, I just don't feel well that's all."

"Oh, okay. See you later." Gerard leaned forward to kiss Frankie only for the other to turn their head away just in time so the kiss was planted to their cheek. The touches were getting to them more and more now.

"Oh – okay." Gerard drew back, a little bit more angry than he was before. Frankie was lying to him and avoiding him. He was so fucking done with it.

Gerard opened his mouth ready to say something about it only for a second before scoffing. He shook his head and turn to walk out the door.

"B-bye." Frankie whispered only for Gerard to slam the door behind him.

Gods, where did they fuck up?

*

Gerard was sloshed. A few days after the second incident Gerard found it his life's mission to get away from his problems. You know, like he usually does. So he sought out Gabe in his dorm room, give the party God's son a little scare, before finally landing his hand on an altered bottle of jack.

Gerard didn't know what altered mean and he didn't much care.

He bleed the bottle dry and he was sad to have done so. Partly because he was sober for three years before this and also partly because there was no more alcohol left. The two conflicted each other in ideals but Gerard didn't much care. He already felt shit enough.

"Hey..." Ryan said, looking at Gerard for the first time in months. He didn't remember him looking so...shit. "Hey? Uhm – Why are you drunk?"

Gerard giggled, his head lolling to the side to see Ryan's face. He gets what Gabe mean by altered jack now. Bright blue glow worms were crawling out of Ryan's eye socket and when Ryan open his mouth to speak a few neon blue butterfly came out. Neat.

"Wow, Gabe weren't kidding." He looked at the empty bottle in hand before placing it on the night stand, but he missed by about a few inch and the bottle tumble with a smash to the ground.

Ryan stared at the shards of glass all over their wooden dorm room floor, it was going to be a bitch to clean. "I'm calling Mikey." Ryan said turning around. Gerard sat up like there was a shock to his system, his feet crunching on the tiny pieces of glass that littered the floor. Ryan winced at the sight of blood pouring out of his foot. Gerard doesn't seem to notice.

"Please no." Gerard grabbed at the lapels of Ryan's sweater, pulling at it till it's stretched quite a bit. He was dead on his feet as he kept swaying and swaying like he was on a rocking boat. Getting more and more of the shards lodge in his feet. "P-Please." He stared at Ryan's eyes, pleading.

"Fuck." Ryan sighed. "Fuck fuck, alright! J-Just please, sit down." Ryan walked Gerard back to the bed, his own foot covered in thick boots, Gerard bouncing of the mattress with a giggle. Ryan shook his head, already assessing the tiny shards of glass that managed to cut through Gerard's callous sole. There weren't much surprisingly enough, but one big shard had created a large gash that made blood pour all over the wooden floor. It was gonna stained, they were gonna get in trouble for it.

"Ryan..." Gerard planted his hand on Ryan's face, he couldn't resist, he wanted to know what the glow worms feels like dancing through his fingers.

"Gerard stop." Ryan swatted his hands away. He needed help, but he promised not to call Mikey.

"Don't call Mikeeeyy." Gerard drawled, like he could hear Ryan's thoughts.

Ryan sighed and shook his head again. "I won't, but you're never gonna get your hands on another bottle of _anything_ and if this happens twice, I'm telling Mikey and I'm gonna go straight to the temple and call your dad." Ryan said firmly, not menacing but the threat was still there.

Gerard nodded slowly, his stomach churning now his demigod body started to push the alcohol out of his system. He hated that about being a demigod, the effects of drugs and alcohol wore down very quickly, but the draw backs were still there in full force. It was a shitty bargain, that's why someone like Gabe is so important in their young adult world, if they wanted to get properly drunk like other humans could, they can only go to Gabe. The other children of Dionysus didn't share the same talents in mixology as Gabe, which made Gabe his father's favorite.

Gabe probably gave him one of his shitty new test run alcohol since it’s leaving his system pretty quickly. Gerard hates that Gabe dared to care about him that much.

"What happened Gerard? You usually can handle being around alcohol – you go to Gabe's parties all the time for fuck sake." Ryan snapped Gerard out of his racing thoughts.

Gerard remembered the events that took place these past few weeks. All the shut ins Frankie did after that one eventful night. He didn't imagine their first time going to the next step, taking their relationship into a sexual tier, ending up into a downward spiral of...this. Whatever this is.

Too bad Gerard's not the kind of guy who's secure in who they are. Since then, racing thoughts of 'Frankie doesn't want me like that cause he thinks I'm gross' has been replaying in his mind on a constant loop. Now he has no proof of this. Not even a few subtle seedy looks that Frankie might've sent his way. Absolutely nothing.

It's just that this isn't Gerard's first time going through a few hard-hitting stuff. And he always thinks that it's his fault. Always.

"Right...so Frankie then?"

Gerard moved to his side to look at Ryan's completely neutral, somewhat disappointed, face. "Yeah." He sighed, knowing there's no point in struggling. Ryan would figure it out in about a second. He always does. It's part of why he's the school unofficial student therapists. And why he himself has never been able to load his burden onto someone else cause that was _his_ job.

Gerard had been one of the first to coax Ryan out of his hard shell. Knowing that what Ryan was doing isn't healthy in the slightest bit cause he's been through it. Seen what keeping it in can do to the people around them. But Gerard's problems stems on the perpetual disposition to constantly blame every single thing on himself. Whilst Ryan comes from a place of nurtured torture that had kept the actually emotional boy looking so apathetic all the damn time that people actually believe it. That Ryan was impassive and smart enough to load all their problems on not regarding the impact it has on Ryan's emotional psyche.

Gerard had seen almost immediately right through him. He's not the only to have seen pass the barrier but he was the first to act on it. Or rather, _not_ act on it. He will always abstain on telling Ryan about his problems and seeking advice because he can see that _that_ much dumping had started to impact Ryan. The sunken in cheeks, the hollowed eyes, and the deep crevices underneath them. Gerard had left him alone, talking to him about more than enough things to keep their blooming friendship alive. But never tell on his struggle.

Ryan had guessed of course. He has a knack for doing so, his gift was also his burden. Just like basically everybody at the school but what else is new? Ryan had said thank you and they've gotten closer from surprisingly abstaining in sharing.

Ever since then Gerard would always try and held back from telling his problems to Ryan. Now though, his tongue was loosening up with the bitter taste of alcohol and it was easy for him to pour everything out of the open. Just like the shattered glass on the ground, he feels scattered and broken.

"Fuck, Gee, Ever think that not everything is your fault?"

"That coming from you?" And he can see where he hurt Ryan, the other's cheek blazing with pink, quickly covered up by his ducking head. Ryan steadfastly ignore the comment by going back to address the physical issue in the form of Gerard's bleeding foot. That's what Gerard notice about Ryan, he's coping mechanism is to help others in expense of himself.

"I'll get the tweezers." Ryan got up to search for the thing somewhere in his drawers, back turned to Gerard. There was a blue butterfly floating around him, it looked so real that Gerard thought it was, before the butterfly settled in the middle of Ryan's back and dissipated. Gerard was sobering up quick.

Ryan turned back then, casting the beautiful delusion aside. A plastic bag in hand and an emergency aid kit in the other. Gerard stared at it for a second before bringing his eyes to meet Ryan's. He didn't say sorry but Ryan can see it through his facial expression, the way Gerard's lips would curve just a tiny bit at the sides while his eyebrows scrunch itself up, his head tilted slightly to the side. And in his un-sober heartbroken state, Ryan would take it.

Ryan leaned back down, careful not to kneel on any tiny shards. He'll deal with it later, for now Gerard starting to lose a lot of blood. "Tell me about it." He said, tweezers in hand as he starts picking off the dust of glass that didn't quite broke the skin away and started placing it on the bag.

"We tried to have se- ow." Gerard winced when Ryan pulled on a lodged shard. the small ones still, he'll build up to it. Gerard sighed and settle back down, not having a blood phobia the way he has with needles but still not being fond of seeing it coming from his body. "They gave me a blow job."

Ryan snorted. Gerard was never particularly articulate when it comes to talking. But he always does it in a long drawn out fashion that's both nerdy and endearing at the same time. He's not used to Gerard being so crass and to the point. "Were they good?" He pulled on a bigger shard; Gerard gritted his teeth this time.

"Yea...they were. But it's like they weren- ah, fuck." Ryan looked up, seeing he'd pulled out a big one, there were a lot more sizable shards than he thought. "It was like he wasn't there."

Ryan nodded for Gerard to continue whilst he continue his own endeavors. "Yeah, anyways, they’ve been spacing out, _a lot._ Just keep looking at the mirror all spacey...I said that." Gerard sat up on his elbows. "Did I say that?" He asked genuinely confused. Ryan furrowed his brows but didn't look up, he nodded and Gerard thump back down.

"Anything else?" It was too early to tell. But he knows a bit about Frankie and who they were. How could he not when Frankie's one of the prettiest of Aphrodite's creations. And he thinks that this goes maybe a bit deep and Gerard's to dense to see it cause he's never experience something like it. But Ryan's red about it in one of his psychology class. He's not gonna jump the gun just yet though. And even if it's right, it's still not his place to tell Gerard.

"Yeah...uhm, they won't touch me. Like the thought of kissing me grosses them out. And like, everything else grosses them out too." Gerard drawled, now the souped-up alcohol was wearing of he felt tired, stretched too thin. Or maybe that was blood lost. Probably blood lost.

"Have they ever shown disgust towards you before?" Ryan asked calmly, putting alcohol on the wound before wrapping it up. It'll heal by tomorrow anyways, he's just gotta make sure the wound was clean.

Gerard thought about it. The answer was no, obviously, but that doesn't have anything to do about what he's sure is happening. Sure, Frankie never acted that way before but they could start now. Starting to see the grossness that is him, Gerard Way. "No." He said anyways cause his racing mind was too hard to explain.

"You didn't talk to them about this." It wasn't a question or even an accusation, it was just simply a statement.

"No..." And yes, Gerard would admit, this has been his biggest downfall in the past. To say he was a bit dramatic and narcissistic was an understatement.

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"B-because, I –“ Ryan tilted his head. "I j-just, I mean –“ Then raised his eyebrows. "W-well, you know..."

"Are you done."

"No – I mean, yes?" Gerard slumped back down, eyes closing as headache starts to settle.

"Well it's clear you gotta talk to them." Ryan pointed out, standing up to get the small broom he had invested on since Gerard didn't mind living in a pigsty.

"I can't, they won't answer my calls." It felt like an excuse but it was true. He can't have a conversation with someone who doesn't want to talk.

"Go to his room?" Ryan suggested only for Gerard to shook his head.

"Dewees been stone walling me." Gerard didn't blame him, after the way Gerard stormed out, the protector probably got the message Gerard had hurt his protectee. And now Gerard's facing the consequences.

"Have you tried catching them in one of their classes?" Gerard glared, of course he did.

"It seems like they haven't gone to any of their classes for a few days.”

"They've been in their room all day?"

"Sitting in front of mirrors apparently." That was about the only info he had gotten from Dewees’ muttering accusations. He figures Frankie let's Dewees in only to give them basic needs like food even though he's got the feeling Frankie doesn't really want anyone to see them right about now.

Ryan nodded, that was a big neon sign that basically confirms what he thinks. Gerard's an idiot for making it all about him when his partner is struggling a great deal by now. But Gerard does care and his self-deprecating thoughts can't be helped. So, helping his fucked up friend it is. "You should go to the temple, pray for some divine intervention."

Gerard quirked his brow, thin lipped and unamused. "Are you fucking serious?"

Ryan stopped his sweeping. "Yup – Frankie’s literally Aphrodite's favorite. She resurrected him for fuck sake, with your dad help too. It's clear they're rooting for you. Why not ask for help?" Ryan shrug like it wasn't a big deal. But to anyone in campus, it was. Summoning a God that wasn't your own can be quite dangerous. Life or death even.

But for Frankie, he'll do it. "Okay." and it came out surprisingly confident.

*

The steps that he'd made away from his dorm room through the courtyard all the way to the maze garden located behind one of the main buildings in Aither was the hardest series of steps in his life. Almost comparable to the steps he took to get clean. Difficult and terrifying. 

The further away he got from the school the colder everything gets, the darker the sky was, and the more quiet everything was. There was nothing that separated him from the path to go back, it was almost easy to see where his feet had left an imprint on the muddy dirt below. He can always go back. Frankie needed him though.

The thin whispers as he got closer started getting louder. The Gods were watching, this scared timid boy meeting his (hopefully) mother in law for the first time. If he puts it like that in his head it was almost easy to pretend that there was no chance for him to die. For the furies to strike down on his and carry him away.

It has happened before. It was a common misconception for the new kids or even the mortals that ended up taking up a demigod lover to think that the Gods aren't that bad. That they won’t just suddenly up and kill one of their kind's child. And the way sometimes these demigod children talk about their Godly parent as if they’d come over every Sunday for brunch was in support of this theory. And it's true, most of the demigods here have a sort of kinship with their Godly parent. They made them, of course they care about them. But Gods are temperamental, they've smite their children before without any remorse for as so much as sneezing during dinner. It's just the way they are. The highs are high with them and the lows are unspeakable.

Gerard was lucky. He maybe a pretentious artsy geek that no one ever took a second glance at, but he was also one of his father's favorite. And that sort of things were envied at the school. Of course it was, Gerard has never felt this looming sense of divine threat over him whenever he does something bad. And he'd never understand why his father loved him so much but he'll take it.

Now though, going to summon a God that has no direct parentage correlation with you is somewhat...suicidal. Why would a God give someone as small as him the time of day? Why should they? But Gerard really hopes that Aphrodite has heard of him before and that she's heard nothing bad of him. None of that hurting Frankie by slamming a door to their faces so many times. And he hopes that his father was willing enough to protect him the way Zephyr did for Zacky. Gerard was still bitter about that but he'd digress. Because now he was standing still on the lip of the very temple, he could potentially loose his life in.

The temple that was built by Bert's mother, imbued with spells and sigils all around the structure to house the Gods in the mortal coil as comfortable as possible. No need to tick them off anymore. Despite the deaths and torture that has occurred in the temple, it was still a blessing to have it. It was better than the second option which was having the kids be completely at the mercy of the Gods, one wrong move and they're dead. But now with the temple there were an easier way for them to negotiate a certain person's fate. It'll take the Gods less effort to deal with the disguises that they would have if they ever walk the earth. And it was a great place for them to get offerings as well, without actually having to show themselves.

Overall it was a great thing that the temple exists. Now though Gerard's steps where echoing through the temple's hall and he's having trouble placing the greatness of such a scary place.

He remembers what to do. Remember the specific class he had to go through in first term that thought him how to properly summon a God without them getting mad. Most likely they know you're coming, they're Gods after all. But if you're intentions are pure and didn't go against the God you are summoning there was generally nothing to worry about. So why is Gerard's hand shaking as he placed the bouquet of flowers onto the stone table in the middle of the room?

It was quiet at first, the previous whispers seemingly to come to a stop as if now they're just staring, waiting. And then the torches that sparsely decorated the room caught on fire one by one. Gerard shrieked and jump about a foot in the air before settling himself. He doesn't know if that's normal, has never done this before. The only Godly interaction he had was the few echoing voices in his ears when he needed help or that couple of time his father came to visit to smack him around for being an idiot for a little bit. _this_ , though, this is new.

"Uhm...hello?" There was no answer, no sound at all safe for his voice bouncing off of the stone walls and coming back to his ears. Maybe it didn't work or hasn't work.

"Okay." He mutters to himself as he took a seat on the steps that held the table high in the room. He'll wait. He'll do just about anything for Frankie. So he sits there and think, conjuring the image of Aphrodite in his mind, begging, imploring her to come.

He didn't realize he's been there for hours until the light of the midday sun started to dwindle and the only source of light left was the soft glow of the flames that the torches held within. He supposed that this is for the best, there won't be any blood shed or threats to his life today. But he can't help but feel disappointed, he needed help for Frankie and now he's coming home empty with his tail between his legs.

He stood up, stretching his stiff body as he starts to walk back to the entrance of the temple. He was looking down at his shoes, dejected but somewhat relieved, when suddenly soft light footstep starts to mirror his own. He stops abruptly, gulping his beating heart back down.

"Well you give up easy." The voice was sultry, deep, but feminine in tone, elegant and regal the way the words roll of the tongue.

Gerard turned around quickly, maybe too quick as he lost his footing and almost fell. There by the foot of the steps he had sat on for hours was a woman, standing tall but not too tall. In a way she looks taller than Gerard can hope to perceive though objectively she was only a few inches taller than Gerard.

"Well - What have you called upon me for?" She said, hips cocked as her toga dress bunched around her waist.

"I-I was just, I-I-I don't-"

"Gerard." She sighs, exasperated. and Gerard stops, held his tongue. She _knows_ who he is. She smirks seeing the look in Gerard's face. Up until then Gerard had stopped on her beautiful soft lips not going up to meet her eyes, just barely inching at her nose. "Look at me."

"Oh fuck." He hissed as he slowly drew his eyes up to meet _her_ , Frankie's mother, Aphrodite. "Woah." He said, breathless, she looks so much like Frankie it was uncanny. Only Frankie has their father's slightly olive skin tone, whilst her were white, supple, glowing.

"Hmm." She glided her way towards Gerard, hands loose at her side until she reached him. Her hands ghosting, almost cupping his face as she brushed the dark strands away. "You're not bad." She said, assessing Gerard, moving her gaze from his chin to his lips then nose and eventually settling on his eyes. " _Beautiful_ eyes." She commented.

"Not as beautiful as your child." Gerard blurted without thinking it. He's always was so adamant about that with Frankie.

Aphrodite jerks, taken a back and Gerard winced at his loose lips. But she didn't look mad or offended that Gerard didn't compliment _her_ eyes instead. She looks amused, a soft grin settling on her lips. "Hmm...good boy." She patted is cheek softly.

She stood back, airily walking around the temple aimlessly. "So, you're here for my child then? They've said a lot about you."

Gerard gulped.

"Some nice things." He sighed. "Recently not so much." She glared at him and Gerard swore his heart just stopped right then. "But they've never particularly said it was your fault, just alluded to the way you've acted. And the last time they acted that way-" Her speech getting softer, her eyes glazing over with the thought of the past. "I had to stay with him so he won't ascend early."

Gerard's ached at the thought, he knew what ascending means. It means leaving the mortal world behind. He wonders what could push Frankie so far to have wanted to die early, to have warranted their mother's attention to prevent that from happening. His eyes prickled, stinging with tears at the thought. "Th-that's what I came for." He tried slowly, Aphrodite turning around, face impassive. "I need help so I can fix...things. I-I don't even know what to fix." He said the last part to himself, chiding himself for even thinking to come here without a proper thought.

"You love them." It wasn't a question, Gerard looked up, mortified. He's never said it before, only know Frankie for three fourths of the year, but the sentiment was hanging in the air around them since the early few months they'd known each other. It's never been said, always caught on the tongue figuring that the other wouldn't want to move so quickly. That very though was what led them to have gone to the next steps after six months of waiting. Too long for some but enough for them, at least Gerard thought.

"Yes." He said breathlessly, unneeded, he already knows this fact.

She smiles. "You're like your father in that way." She smiled; the boy has small similarities to his father from what she observes. But he was like him when it counts.

"I'm bad at love like him too." Gerard joked, relieved that she chuckled at that.

"It would seem so." She said curiously enough. "But I'm afraid I cannot share much about Frankie without invading too much on their privacy." Gerard was taken aback by the genuine tone of regret in her voice. It was a great honor for having a God other than his father to care.

"I-It's okay, I just really need advice on how to help them." He hopes that wasn't asking for too much.

"Frankie has lived quite a difficult love life. There weren't many of course, just one besides you. But that one - he was _poison_ to them and I sincerely hope that you take care of them now." She said to Gerard with so much threat and conviction in her eyes. Gerard nodded, ready for whatever it takes.

She sighs and smiles to the sky. "Such tenacity." She whispers in a teasing tone. Gerard figured that that wasn't for him. She averted her gaze back to Gerard, shoulders pulled back and posture perfect. "Talk to them, I realize that this advice doesn't much help right now, but promise me once they've given you a chance that you would. That you'd process what they were saying without throwing yourself into pointless conclusion." Gerard bit his lips, nodding, knowing that that's what he's been doing. "It's not your fault necessarily. The center of the problem has always been there, settled within their mind ever since I held them as a babe." She sighs fondly.

"I'll listen to them till the end." He said hoping that it'll be enough to push Aphrodite.

She chuckled fondly. "I like you." She said without looking at Gerard. "Very well, I'll send his brother to come and talk to them."

"Brother?" Gerard questioned. It wasn’t unique to have siblings for demigods, but Gerard wondered which could be so special that Aphrodite thinks that they might help.

"Yes, Frankie isn't the first child that I have to have their bodies not align with who they are." And that gave Gerard a little bit more insight to what's really going on with Frankie. Gerard felt foolish to have been thinking it was him. He realized now how selfish he has been in his way of handling things and he vowed silently right then to be better in the future. "He can help." She said as a last reassurance.

"I – yes, thank you." He stuttered.

"Your welcome, Gerard." She started to walk back the way she came, going up the stairs that the table was perched on that held the flowers of his offering. She took it lightly in hand, caressing the delicate petals of the hyacinths. "Take care of them." She whispered, before a flash of light blinded his eyes and he was left alone once again.

Gerard jerked in his spot, looking around the now dimmed room. He needed to get back and research. Try and think of a plan on what to say to Frankie when they finally would let him. He left the temple feeling a considerable amount of weight left his shoulders.

*

There was this ghost invading their mirror, filling up every edge of the reflective surface. It was staring back at them like they knew that they'd come back. No matter how many times they tried to bury it, it'll always come back, like some sort of hideous creature of the night. It stared back at them, familiarity deep in it's eyes.

A stray tear rolled down it's cheek and Frankie can feel the dampness on their's. It's a strange sensation, the more they looked at it the more trapped they became. It's suffocating him fully, burrowing deep underneath his skin and staying there, have been staying there. Dormant and waiting.

It always comes up, bleeding through the surface with just a little nudge at the right spot. A passive aggressive comment. A caress to the skin where no one else should touch. And a misplaced, misguided, so call constructive, criticism.

It's wraps itself around their unhinged mind and getting looser, and whispered softly, menacingly, in their ears.

"You should hate yourself." it said.

"Look at those waist." It leered.

"And that disgustingly lopsided hips." it added.

It'll do this for hours, days even, and it won't stop. Can never stop.

This strange entity that is them and not them at the same time. It's like if they divided all the bad parts of them then it would be this creature. But this creature was attached to their hip and it comes no matter where they go. Leering, lurking.

"Frankie!" That was Dewees. They'd locked their roommate out for hours now. He has been knocking, asking to be let it. But a few hours before then was their first taste of the world out there after days of going without.

It looked different. They never noticed how people stared at them before today. How wide those eyes that scanned their body up and down. They would wonder what they think, at the college course they had been braving themself to go to would go pointlessly unnoticed.

Frankie had ran to their room and buried himself full of self-doubt. It was maddening, all this hatred. This dissonance they feel with their own body. It's like they own it, but it's not _them_.

And not for the first time in a few days did they thought maybe years ago they had come to the wrong conclusion. And maybe if they change their mind, they would belong more to this male body.

Of course they can't change that. Have sometimes thought to change it, but it's something that has been there long before they were even born. Predestined to stay with them for the rest of their life.

And that swirled them back to the thought of maybe changing how their look. And then they'd look up and found there's not much there to begin with. And even if there are, they wouldn't really know where to start.

How could they make a thing that doesn't exist?

"For fuck sake, Frankie! Open the fucking door before I bust it open!"

Frankie barely registered what they heard, but they still expected a bang on the door. Something to indicate the kick their protector had landed on the door with his hooves. But there was nothing to follow.

It was quite.

No, it was more than quiet. It's like there was an absence of sound in the world.

"I hope you don't mind, I'm not fond of walking the earth."

There was a _man? woman?_ beautiful non the less - sitting in their bed. Arms perched behind them, creating a wonderful dip that caresses the other's delicate and tan hands.

"Wh-"

"I was sent here by our mother." The other's said, cutting them of on their ramble.

" _Our_ mother?" Frankie asked incredulously, there's no way they were related to this beautiful creature. Being their mother's child was odd enough.

"Yes, she sent me here, as I said." The beautiful being started to stand up, the toga they're wearing drapes downwards onto the floor. They walked towards Frankie with confidence, the slit in their gowns fluttering open as one leg protruded every time they took a step.

They stop before Frankie and ever so slowly they gracefully bend down to the floor. Until the beautiful creature was sitting face to face with Frankie. Their legs tucked under the other where it splayed to the side delicately.

_Even the way they sit was pretty._

"So you're my younger sibling. I have to say, I can understand why mother likes you."

"I-I, I don't." Their face was heating up, they were sure of it. "Who are you?"

The other smiled, wide and unguarded. "My name is Hermaphroditus – You may have heard of me?"

Oh, _oh._ Frankie's eyes widen, there was no way their mother has been keeping an eye on them all this time. They're not that important to warrant yet another family member's moral support. "Why did she send you?" The words tumble out of their mouth before they realized.

The other giggled, head thrown back with the motion, sincere and open. So much different than them. "As it would seems, your lover has been...concern, about you."

Gerard went to the temple. He went to the temple to risk his life just for them. Why? Even when they've been such a bitch to them.

"You've gotten a lot of people worried. That friend of yours, just beyond the door; I can feel how concern he is of you." The other said softly.

"I didn't mean to." They whispered to themself. It's just these days they’ve been preoccupied with killing themself slowly. And they don't want anyone to see them falling apart.

Frankie heard the other sighed and moved closer to them, crowding the mirror so there was now two creatures staring back at them. One was beautiful and Frankie pollutes the sight. "You know I've been there. Had that very same look in my eyes."

"You?" Frankie gawked, there was no way. Not someone that beautiful.

The other chuckled. "It's true - tell me, have you heard about my story before?"

Frankie scrunched their face up in thought, trying to remember their ancient greek history lessons. "You're the child of Aphrodite and Hermes, right? And the most notable thing about you is that you were, _merged?_ With a Naiad Nymph. Am I right?"

"Ahh, you've paid attention. Mother would be proud." Frankie blushed, at least they did one thing right. "There's a part of the tale that don't quite match up with history, though."

They paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "For one, I didn't choose to be in the body I am in today."

"What do you mean?" Frankie knows the few iterations of the legend and yes some of them seems out of Hermaphroditus' choice. But the way the story was said almost made it seem like they were fine with the change.

"You heard that I was united with the Naiad, yes? - Well the known story, states that the Gods united our bodies after she prayed to them. The truth was she had cursed the well I have rested upon and had taken siege of my body. She had said that if she couldn't have me then she'll become me." Frankie's eyes widen with the story, that was kinda fucked up. "But there was something wrong and instead my body changed and her soul loss the battle and had died during the process. I was left confused of what I am."

Frankie felt tear prickle in their eyes. "That sounds awful."

"Oh it was." Hermaphroditus choked out. "I too had stared at the reflection of my body in every clear lake I've come across."

"But you dealt with it?" Hermaphroditus nodded. "How?"

"Well, it wasn't an easy feat, let me tell you that." Hermaphroditus looked to the side, catching sight of the window and the scenery beyond. They were smiling fondly, eyes going far away. "I was born a boy and I was perfectly aligned with that change. It wasn't until I was changed that my mind just...broke."

Frankie can relate to those words. Granted they were never born in the body they wanted and they weren't sure if that body exists and what it'll look like.

"I wanted to cut the body parts off of me that I hated most, that doesn't belong there. It had gotten so bad that the hatred had festered into every part of myself, even the ones I used to love I became hateful of." They sighed, taking another breath, this time it wavered.

"I'm sorry." Was all that Frankie can say to that.

They smiled then, lips quivering with the effort. "It's okay." They brushed the tears of their face that had fallen. "You know why?"

"Why?" Frankie whispered.

"I had help, I had people around me that cared and I surround myself with and I did it. I've come to terms with what I have become and that the way I looked doesn't change the fact that I am still a _man_." _He_ said so with so much conviction that Frankie reeled back in awe.

"I wanna be like you." Frankie told him. The confidence and the air he had carried himself was a far cry from the short story that they've heard coming out of their mouth not to seconds ago. It sounded so simple to go through and yet Frankie knows just how hard it is. They don't even believe they can get over that.

"No, you don't. You wanna be like _you_." He said, face unguarded and open yet again.

"But it's so hard." Frankie sobbed, their tears were streaming down again. There's no way they could get up from how awfully hopeless they feel right now.

"But you have before." And he was right, they have done that before with the help of their mother. "You just need to open your hearts to the people who care about you. _Trust me_. I know."

And just like that, the world started to blur at the sides. It feels like a haze has come over them and a dizzy yet comforting feeling came over Frankie. Frankie closed their eyes, as it fell steadily heavier and heavier. It was like being woken up from a dream, the weirdness of their previous situation started to settle in.

And then their eyes jolt open, the first thing that they saw being the mirror. The monster didn't look quite scary anymore. In fact, it wasn't a monster at all, it was just a scared child.

"Frankie, I swear to Gods." And that was Dewees still banging on their door. "If you don't ope- fuck!" Frankie cut him off by opening the door abruptly. "Shit, don't open the door like that."

"Sorry." Frankie hugged Dewees for all his worth, feeling the other shifted on their legs to accommodate their body weight. "Thanks for always protecting me and I'm sorry I never appreciate you enough." Frankie whispered to his ears.

"Th-thank's Frankie."

Frankie let Dewees go abruptly, smiling fondly for a second before sprinting down the hallway.

"Where are you going?!" Dewees shouted.

"To find Gerard!"

*

Gerard was surprised to have found Frankie knocking on his door so late in the afternoon. He was about to take a nap (and by that he means a twenty-hour coma) and sleep away his restless thoughts. He felt better, lighter, even though his heart yearns for Frankie and after the things he just researched he can’t help but to feel even more worry. But he realized that Aphrodite's help might not come right away and even then Gerard still needed to give Frankie some space until they were ready to come and talk to Gerard.

Gerard had prepared for all that he can. Even coming to terms with the fact that there might still be a chance of them breaking up. But he'll be strong for Frankie and he'll wait as long as forever for them.

So when Frankie had knocked on his door quicker than he'd imagined the younger would, he was pleasantly surprised and incredibly mortified.

Frank had stuttered out a broken hello and Gerard had pulled the other in and enclosed his arms tight around them. Frankie had said their sorry and Gerard his and they declared they needed to talk. But not there, somewhere more peaceful. Somewhere that usually calms Frankie down.

The ocean, they had said Aphrodite used to drag them out there to listen to the steady sound of the crashing waves. And they would just melt to the sound of the sea.

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing that came out of Frankie's mouth after they arrived there. And although back at the dorm they have expressed their mumbling thoughts on that, Gerard sense that those words are just an icebreaker in this case. Frankie up till now has been silence looking at the expanse of the clear watered ocean in front of them. The only thing that tethered them to Gerard is the one pinky they looped through his fingers that they'd squeezed every so often.

"Me too." Gerard wasn't about to say anything, knowing Frankie was gonna continue but the other stayed silent for too long that Gerard feared that they'd just stop right there.

Frankie sighed and shook their head. "Gods Fuck! I thought this was going to be easier." They wiped at the stray tears that were starting to form and glossed their eyes. The way Hermaphroditus had said it made it sound so easy. It did wake them up and he realized they wete being foolish but xthis, this is hard. "It's just...I've never had someone like you." Frankie said looking at Gerard, the anger and frustration in their face evident with the way they scrunched up their eyebrows. Gerard wasn't offended knowing the anger wasn't directed towards him. Instead he smile and took his fingers off of Frankie and put his hands to their face, cupping their cheeks. Gerard brushed lightly in between Frankie's eyebrows with his thumbs until the tension there dissolve. And there was a small shy smile gracing Frankie's face and a blooming shade of pink on their cheeks once they've relaxed.

"I don't know how you can do that." Frankie piped up.

"Do what?" Gerard asked grasping the diversion of topic knowing Frankie's not comfortable in delving in right away yet.

"Make me feel... _nice?_ Like you can touch my hand and I'll just - I'll just _melt_." Frankie looked Gerard in the eyes then. A million questions buried in Frankie's eyes and Gerard was willing to answer them the best he can.

"You know you do the same for me too." Gerard supplied, not wanting Frankie to gush all about how good of a boyfriend he is without acknowledging the things Frankie does to him. "I can have the shittiest day in the world and you could just smile once at me and it'll all be better."

Frankie chuckled, they know how much of a bad thing that dependency can be. "I guess that's why you being annoyed at me really got to me, huh?"

Gerard scrunched his face up at that, not liking that that was kind of true. Gerard didn't even _have_ to blow up on Frankie for them to go and shut themself out from him for days, weeks. He was just irritated and he had scared Frankie away. Of course the reality was it was more than that, it might've been a catalyst, amongst other things, but that wasn't the root of the problem.

"I had a boyfriend once...b-before you." Frankie suddenly blurted out of nowhere.

"Just one?" Gerard asked in a teasing tone, not wanting the mood to go dark too quick.

Frankie breathed out a light chuckle. "Yeah...yeah. I kinda swore myself off of dating after him. His name was Cade by the way." Frankie didn't want to. They really didn't want to delve into their past. But they owe it too Gerard so they could move forward, hopefully together. "It was back in high school. I was a freshman and he was a junior. He was the first out gay person that didn't get beat up for liking who he liked." Frankie chuckled, remembering how his boyfriend was actually quite popular. "And I was popular enough for him too. Back then, y-y'know I didn't realize I wasn't a boy yet. B-but I knew I was attracted to everybody. And he thought I was a boy so we dated." And Frankie remembered how back then he thought it was so difficult for them to come to that conclusion, that not knowing what gender they were seemed _so hard._ And they would come home and beat themself up over it and they'd look in the mirror and just felt a dissonance between who they see and who they know is inside.

Gerard squeezed Frankie's hand when he sees Frankie drifting away. Frankie looked at Gerard, smiling wryly as they will themself to speak again. "I loved him..." Frankie said tentatively and when Gerard did nothing but smile Frankie nodded to himself to continue. "At least I think I did? It was hard to tell back then." And Gerard nodded knowing how true that statement was. He's held onto a fair few relationships himself that he thought was covered under the guise of love before realizing how stupidly toxic it was. "But I cared about him and I think he cared about me too, in a way...i-it's hard to explain. But he was sorta into y'know – fitness and like health and all that." Gerard nodded again, though he didn't know what that has to do with anything. "Yeah...and anyways, when we started dating I got sick and I had to take these meds that made me gain weight _so fast_." And, oh, Gerard hoped that this doesn't go the way he thinks it will go. The way he's been hinted had happened, the way his researched had led him to.

Frankie noticed Gerard's facial expression change and they laughed. A manic sound that tore it's way right out of their throats involuntarily. Tears were building up in their eyes again and they tried so hard to hold it in this time. But it was quick to shed and they could feel how fast their nose was starting to stuff. It was gonna be like _that_ , they thought.

Gerard's hold went rigid and stiff, looking up, Frankie could see from between their eyelashes that Gerard was tense. They didn't like that expression on his face, so they continue. "Yeah anyways we did things, you know like sexual things?" Nonchalance was not Frankie's forte. "A-and it was fine at first, he didn't ever force me to do anything I didn't want to." They paused remembering how sweet he used to think Cade was and maybe he was, but maybe to someone else. But he and Frankie really didn't mix well. Cade was too callous in his approach whilst Frankie was too fragile at the time.

"Then what happened?" Gerard prodded when the pause became to long.

"Nothing at first, but then he started to comment on...things. When he started to notice me gaining weight, h-he - he thought I wasn't taking care of myself." It wasn't true, but he was a teenager and he really didn't know better. Cade likes to brag about what he knows on fitness even though he's barely knew _shit_." Frankie spat, not able to held their venomous tone  
"And his preaching really didn't help anybody. "So he'd tell me, every time, what he see's wrong with my body when we were in the middle of...doing _stuff_. And he would be kinda forceful about it too. I mean he was an athlete so he was kinda _aggresive_ in a way." Gerard wanted to kill Cade, but abstain to let Frankie continue. "He would point and stare and say that 'oh, your belly fat is showing' and I'd just laugh it off." Frankie cried. "Can you believe that? I was so stupid."

"Hey...ssh, none of that okay? You are _not_ stupid." Gerard held Frankie closer. From there Frankie can hear Gerard's heartbeat clearly now, accompanied by the crashing waves of the ocean. "None of that." Gerard said again, firmly.

"That was around the time I found out I wasn't a boy, never have been." Frankie had found the term online when they were trying to find the best method to shed a few pounds fast. It was in an article about mental health and eating disorders, a warning they disregarded. But they found the term and the small explanation for it and it really resonated with. "He didn't know of course, I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to broke up with me cause I'm not a boy." They really were pathetic back then, trying to cling to a clearly toxic relationship. "And you know what? That was really stupid cause he liked the fact that I was a boy. I didn't notice it at first but he likes to call me things like 'baby boy' in bed. He liked being the strong one, that's why he liked saying it." Frankie hates those times the most, where Cade would point out the things he found wrong about Frankie in the same sentence he would worship parts of their body that Frankie would feel so foreign of. They were confused on who they were at the time, second guessing themself and feeling like an empty shell of a person. Like the body they were in didn't belong to them, yet the responsibility to care for it still fell on them. And Frankie hates how they look, even if they didn't completely feel like it was their body, it was still the body they were stuck wearing.

"Y-you know after that I used to just stand in front of the mirror and stared for hours at the parts that he picked out that day. I would _hate_ myself for it, I mean I was a _freak_ already." They spat. Gerard's heart ache with what he was hearing.

"We broke up, obviously. He moved away and he didn't want to do long distance relationship and I let him go." Frankie really did felt relief when Cade finally went. It doesn't mean their problems went away with him.

"It kept getting worst from there. I'd starve myself." Gerard clenched with those words, he hates it coming out of his Frankie's mouth. "It wasn't intentional at first – I-I was just so stuck on looking at this thing staring back at me through the mirror." Frankie remembered the days where they used to come home from school feeling like a thousand eyes were on them every second of every waking hour. They'd come home and vomit from the anxiety, they'd strip themselves of their clothing and just stared at their mirror for hours. Not eating, not drinking, not even relieving themself. It gotten so bad that eventually his mother stepped in.

"My mom eventually came and stayed with me for a few months." They chuckled, looking back, the time spent with his mom was something of a bright spot in his dark gloomy days. "Gods, do you know how bad you have to be for a _God_ to come down and basically babysit you?"

Gerard chuckled, knowing exactly what Frankie means. He was a mess too, even his father was concerned. That particular situation ended up being Mikey's black mail material.

"She used to tell me I was too pretty to be dying like that and I wouldn't believe her. And she couldn't fix me, but she did made things better." Frankie remembered the first time they asked her to make them pretty, that it was her _job_ to make them beautiful, she's Aphrodite for fuck sakes and they were her child. But constantly she would rebuttal by saying that they were already beautiful. That there was nothing to change. And when Frankie got better, Aphrodite would even joke about how Frankie can never look bad cause they have her as a mother. That is wasn't in their blood to look bad. She even accepted right away that Frankie wasn't a boy, she didn't care about that one bit. "I got better and I eventually stopped killing myself in front of a mirror. But I wasn't fix, still aren't."

Aphrodite can only stay for so long, can only helped them so much. She eventually had to go and Frankie once again found themself swaying on their own two feet. They didn't feel grossed out anymore when they look in the mirror and they thought they were ready to move on from Cade and started trying to hook up with other people. "The first time I tried to hook up with someone after Cade was at a party. I got drunk off my ass and I just picked a random dude and brought him upstairs. Half way into doing shit I started feeling scared again." Frankie mimicked what they felt as they tremble in Gerard's arm who had stayed silent for a while, just listening, understanding. "That's when I found out that doing anything _remotely_ sexual triggers my bullshit. A-and I don't know, I started avoiding it ever since."

Frankie paused to take a breath, realizing the grip Gerard had on them and they smirk, looking up with a now amused smile. "Until you came along and ruined that." They said playfully, hearing Gerard giggled in answer, showing off his adorably small teeth that Frankie really loves to see.

"Well I'm glad I did." Gerard right then vowed to always protect Frankie. To help them grow out of their dark thoughts as long he shall live.

"Me too. You make me want things that I'm scared of." Frankie felt relieved when they really did mean it. They didn't realize just how much more intimate he wants to be with Gerard until now. They’re fearful and they've already fucked up a few things during the beginning, but now they realize just how important it is to _talk_ to each other. Sure, it wasn't as simple as it sounded, but it was a start. And Frankie have _wants_ , they want a romantic relationship yes but more over they also want a healthy sexual relationship as well. And they really feel like Gerard can provide them of that without letting them go too far away.

"Can I ask you something?" Gerard suddenly piped up from above him, Frankie nodded. "I don't want to sound pushy, I swear I'll be fine with whatever answer you gave me but - Do you _not_ wanna have a, uhm, a sexual relationship with me?"

"I do." Gerard breathed a sigh, Frankie slapping his chest playfully muttering an amused "boys." before rolling their eyes. "But maybe not right away? You have to help me feel...safe. I trust you."

That meant everything to Gerard, _everything._

They became silence once more, just indulging in each other's presence and steady heartbeat. Frankie looked off towards the distance, seeing the reflection of the dying sun on the surface of the now calmer water.

"That's really beautiful." Frankie said, nodding towards the waters. Gerard wasn't looking there though; he was to enraptured by the small fragile thing in his arms. He doesn't understand how Frankie can ever look at themself and felt like they weren't enough.

"Yeah," He answered, still not looking away from Frankie. "It is beautiful." Slowly he crept his fingers underneath Frankie's chin, lifting them up ever so slowly.

Frankie was looking at him intently, their eyes shining with the few unshed tears they had. There were tear tracks down Frankie's cheeks, glittering under the sunlight. Gerard really didn't get how Frankie can't see it, but it doesn't really matter as long as Gerard can help.

Gerard leaned forward, lips ghosting over Frankie's and he paused. Frankie looked at him a bit confused and they tried to lean up to meet him, only for Gerard to drew away ever so slightly. Gripping Frankie's jaws softly and stroking the underside of it.

"I love you."

Frankie drew in a shaky breath. _Shit. Shit!_

"I love you." He said again. Frankie really didn't need to say anything back, he just really needed them to know this one fact, right here, right now. "I love you." He said again more firmly and he'd say it a million more times until they believed it.

Frankie gasped with _every word_ , just looking intently into Gerard's eyes only to find true sincerity in his words there. Frankie smiled a bit brokenly before finally leaning up with full force to plant a searing hot kiss to Gerard's lips. Their hands scrabbled towards his hair, gripping it tightly like they never wanted to let go. Gerard reciprocated by drawing his arms around Frankie's waist and pulling them in.

The kiss was hard and a bit painful with how much force they put into it. Their teeth hard behind their soft lips. But fuck if that matter, all there it is are just the two of them sharing this intimate moment right now.

They drew apart with a small sound, resting their forehead together. "I love you too." Frankie whispered. And with that, the day came to a beautifully hopeful close.

*

Of course just because everything is out in the open now, doesn't mean that it's all magically fixed. It was hard for the couple to get back to how things were. The spaces in their bed they have reserved for one another eventually piling up with cold sheets and unwashed clothes till the scent that lingered there of the other was no more. But it wasn't too difficult to warm it up, they can always try and do that with ease and if things won't be the same after, doesn't mean it's not just as special.

They've waited for each other's eyes to soften. For Gerard's eyes not to be filled with sadness every time he so much as thought of Frankie. And for Frankie's eyes not to glaze over when they so much as see themselves in a mirror. It was quite difficult, Gerard being triggered by Frankie being triggered by him.

But Gerard eventually saw the good in Frankie, the one he tethered close to his heart so they won't float away. And Gerard knew just because Frankie's floating doesn't mean they could go far. Gerard always has a spare hand to hold the end of the rope to pull Frankie back to earth.

Like right now, Gerard had planned a date for them and Frankie. After days full of lectures they can finally go out for the first time after the fight. They have trusted each other enough to gain access to come in the other room without actually being let in. To the annoyance of Ryan and Dewees of course. Because every time that happened, it means they're usually displace for the night. Maybe Gerard and Frankie should petition a roommate change.

"Hi, flower. What are yo- Oh…baby..." Frankie was stripped naked in front of a mirror, crying again. They haven't done that in quite a while, but they were nervous for their make-up date tonight. Claw mark marred Frankie's skin, red and angry against porcelain white. Frankie's stomach hurts too, they haven't eaten since after their morning class and neither have they gone to the bathroom. Ever since morning they have worked up quite a nervous sweat and it's all been pouring out of them since.

Gerard crouched down behind Frankie, arms out and palms open, not really touching but still cradling Frankie's form. "Hey, sweet baby. Can I touch you?" Gerard whispered near Frankie's ear.

The other sobbed, hiccuping once or twice. "D-do you want to?"

That really broke Gerard. "Of course, so can I?" Frankie nodded, head moving stiffly since they haven't moved it for hours. Gerard quickly took the opportunity to latch on to Frankie, drew the smaller into his chest. He rubbed at their head, thumbing away stray tears as the other sobbed into his arms.

Frankie breathed, hard and wet. "I-I'm sorry. I did it again." They have a habit of over thinking things.

"No no, it's okay. It's not your fault." Gerard murmured into the other's hair. Repeating chants of, "It's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."

"Guess I worked myself up for nothing since we can't go out now, huh?" Frankie spat to himself, eyes piercing in the mirror.

"I don't mind." Gerard caressed Frankie's jaw then chest. "Just as long as I can spend time with you, I would never mind." Gerard said sincerely.

"Thanks."

They stayed like that for a while, the silence of the room calming. Helping in slowing the younger's heartbeat down. Sitting like that closed to each other.

Until, Gerard had an idea.

"Hey, stand up for a sec." Frankie did, releasing Gerard from where he was as he stood up. "Come here." He dragged Frankie to their bed. Slowly pushing them down on it until Frankie bounce off of the soft surface.

"G-gee what are you doing?" Frankie asked, scared.

Gerard didn't answer, just crawl his way up so he was on top of Frankie's splayed out form. Slowly his head dip down to plant a soft kiss to the other's lips, then to their jaw, then one right below the ear. "Trust me?" He whispered there. Because he knows Frankie does, they just have to let it happen, let that trust happen.

Frankie nodded slowly, jerkily, his hair brushing Gerard's nose where he nodded.

Gerard smiled, Frankie feeling the outline of his lips on his neck. "Just tell me to stop and I will - I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"Okay." Frankie whispered to the air around them.

Gerard worked his way into releasing the tension in Frankie's muscle. Peppering small kissed down Frankie's neck, small, warm, and concise. Then he worked his way down the expanse of skin of their neck to the crook of their shoulders and downwards onto their pale bare chest.

The first touch of Gerard's hand followed by a searing kiss to the space above their heart felt like electric. Frankie gasping wetly as their hands flew to Gerard's hair. Then his hand sneakily trail down to their nipple, stroking the pink nub softly with his hand.

"Gee - What are you doing?" Frankie pulled at Gerard's hair, scenes flashing before their eyes to their time before when they attempted to play out this scene.

"You’re beautiful." Gerard whispered, ghosting his lips on their goosebumps riddled skin. A tear fell out of Frankie's eyes, they never knew just how much they need those words during these.

Gerard can feel the moment where Frankie visibly relaxed beneath him. Their tension finally _finally_ dissolving under his hands. He dipped down ones more biting the rosy nub whilst playing with the other one, twisting between his thumb and index finger. He pulled off and started peppering kisses to their chest.

Frankie gasped louder, sparks of electricity shooting down their spine. "I love your chest." Gerard said softly there and Frankie's stomach did this weird swoopy thing. "It's so strong and courageous – it’s protecting the most beautiful heart in the world." Gerard whispered, hearing Frankie choked off giggle above him.

Gerard pulled away, looking at Frankie with a questioning glare. He wanted to know if he can continue with this experiment of his. He would stop whenever Frankie needed him to. The other nodded as a response and Gerard continue.

He continue his small, light caresses down to Frankie's hips. Peeking his tongue out ever so slightly and licking the jut of their bones, feeling Frankie shiver beneath him. They shifted at the overwhelming sensation of Gerard nipping at the skin there. Moving on to the other hip and doing the same thing, keeping his hand still and firm on the other, brushing slightly to prevent any growing tension.

"I love your hips. It's unique to you and it gives me something to hold onto when I'm scared you'll drift away." The last part he said looking intently at Frankie's eyes. They drew in a shuddering breath at the devoted look they found in Gerard's eyes.

Gerard broke the small dense moment with a curve of his lips. "And it looks really good when you dance." He teased hearing Frankie chuckled from above him.

Frankie's hand flew over Gerard's hair, stroking it lightly away from Gerard's face. Brushing their thumbs down the side of Gerard's cheek all the way down to the jaw, till they were cupping it gently. Gerard was gently forced to look up, seeing Frankie's apprehensive smile. Their thumb brushing lightly on his bottom lip.

Gerard puckered his lips slightly, catching the tip of Frankie's thumb in a peck. He seized Frankie's hands, messaging the fingers there before planting a kiss to each of the tips. "I love your fingers - love seeing it flex whenever you write the most _beautiful_ poetry." Gerard took the other hand and did the same as he did the other. "Love it wrapped around a guitar." Gerard looked down, curling his own fingers in between theirs. "Love it wrapped around mine." He choked out, starting to get sentimental himself.

Frankie gripped the base of Gerard's neck and pulled him up, giving him a hard and solid kiss. "I love you." They breathed into his mouth when they part.

"More than anything." Gerard agreed. He went to turn Frankie around onto their front, but the other stopped him half way. Hands gripping Gerard's wrist tightly before letting go.

"M'sorry."

"If you don't want to it's fine." Gerard smiled disarmingly. He's not gonna push Frankie if they’re not ready.

"No." Frankie blurted, surprise that they actually were enjoying this. "I-It's just, could you, maybe – strip off some clothes. I-I kinda feel a little-" _exposed?_

_Self-conscious._

Gerard pecked them on the lips. "Of course." He said going to kneel by Frankie's feet, starting to strip himself of his jacket and going for his shirt next. He noticed Frankie had perched themself on their elbows, staring intently at every new expanse of skin Gerard showed.

Gerard smirked. "Y'like what you see?" He waggled his eyebrows seeing Frankie burst into a fit of giggle.

"Oh my Gods, you're a dork." Frankie said, giggling going softer and ending with a small tentative smile. "Well c'mere then." They said softly.

Gerard drew a sharp breath as Frankie ever so slowly turn on his front. Their hands clutching a pillow as they hide their glowing red face in it, inhaling the mingling scent of Gerard there ever since they started going steady again. It was intoxicating but not nearly enough, it's a good thing the real deal was right behind them, crawling his way back to them.

Gerard ghosted his hands above the ridges of Frankie's spine. Seeing how it dip and come back out, creating a beautiful wave that ended at the swell of Frankie's plump little ass. Gerard was gonna enjoy this, he smirked before attacking the base of Frankie's neck with equal parts kisses and licks, biting here and there to switch it up.

"Uggh, shit." Frankie felt great, it's the first time that they've ever done things like this without feeling horrible about themself. It was great not having the immediate urge to cover themself. They felt the tiny kisses and bruising bites that Gerard was littering down, following the path of their spine to their tailbone.

Gerard breathed on Frankie's lower back, nose only inches away from where he really wanted to explore. He was scared too, a bit tentative, worried about how Frankie would feel if he took it _there_ regardless of how positive Frankie has been responding.

Frankie looked great though, they always does. Resolutely, Gerard planted a kiss on top of Frankie's cheeks, hearing the younger gasps in response.

"Gee..."

"Can I? Can I, Frankie?" Gerard was mumbling, hands messaging Frankie's ass cheek, squeezing the soft flesh that felt absolutely perfect in his hand.

Frankie nodded enthusiastically, they were already gone. Too focused on the way Gerard made them feel than to listen the whispers of doubt in their ears. "Yes, anything, just - _please_." Frankie pleads. "need more." They groaned.

Gerard didn't need to be told twice. With quick hands he parted Frankie's cheeks and he quickly bury his face there, licking his way up Frankie's balls to his hole. Frankie gasped wetly above him, their hips stuttering wanting to push up and push down all at once. Gerard had to steadied Frankie's hips to keep them from going anywhere but the sight was hot non the less and Gerard found himself adjusting his harden cock in his pants.

"Fuck, Gee, I've never...I-I've never –“

"Never what?" Gerard asked, reluctantly pulling his face away to ask the question.

"No one’s ever done anything down there before." Frankie felt their cheeks ablaze as soon as the words were out of their mouth.

"What? I thought you did stuff with Cade?" Gerard was confused.

"Yeah...but we never did, y'know, butt stuff." Frankie answered, they were sure their face were redder than a tomato.

Gerard chuckled, his partner was _so_ cute. "Butt stuff?"

"Oh shut up! You know what I mean." Gerard laughed in response.

"Ssh, flower." He soothed, going back to kneading Frankie's ass cheeks. "It's okay if you don't wanna do it."

Frankie did the unexpected by whipping their head and giving Gerard the scariest death glare he's ever seen. "You're gonna wire me up and leave me hanging?"

"I, uh –“

"No, no you're not. Now finish what you started." Frankie huffed, going back to resting their chest on the pillow and practically thrusting his ass to Gerard's face. This, this is when Frankie realized how much they've been sex deprived.

Gerard chuckled, at ease now that Frankie was becoming comfortable with themself. "Okay." He went to kiss Frankie's left cheek, feeling the flesh ripple beneath him. He went on to do it to the right one and even just that had reduced Frankie into a writhing mess.

Gerard didn't wait long, he went back and parted Frankie's cheeks and worked his tongue directly onto Frankie's hole. The pad of his tongue licking firmly, not going in yet. He did it more and more firmly, hearing Frankie's ever increasing pitch, whines spilling out of their mouth. Gerard loved how sensitive Frankie's body is and how responsive they're being.

The steady motion help Frankie to relax and in turn their muscle becomes pliant. Gerard took this to his advantage by finally pushing the tip of his tongue into Frankie's hole. "Shit!" Frankie screamed, the sensation sending their eyes to roll to the back of their head. "Motherfucker." They panted, a line of drool dribbling down to the white pillow beneath them.

"Mmm." Gerard moaned; Frankie felt it on the sensitive ring of their muscle. They groaned even more, biting their pillow clutching it with white knuckles.

Gerard went on to slowly thrust his tongue into Frankie, feeling the tight ring of muscle slowly give way for more of his tongue to come in. Gerard sped up his movement, going in and out rapidly until he was practically fucking Frankie with his tongue.

"Holy shit, Gee that feels so good." Frankie moaned incoherently. They never thought it could be _that_ good.

Gerard hummed and when Frankie was pliant and wet enough, he thrusted a finger into them hearing their cries of pleasure from the welcomed intrusion. And he kept fucking Frankie with his tongue, his fingers searching for that one special spot.

Frankie can't understand it. How can they feel so full and yet so _good._ They don't care what happens to them in the next life, this, this is heaven. There's no way it could get any better.

"Fuck!" Frankie shouted, Gerard did something, something that felt really good.

Gerard smirk, Frankie can feel it from the way Gerard's tongue move inside him, just messaging now whilst his finger take turn to thrust in and out of Frankie. Every hit to that spot send tingles on every part of their body and it all ended up stock piled on their dick.

Gerard pulled his tongue away then, seeing a line of spit that connected his lips to Frankie's ass. "Oh fuck you look pretty." Gerard moaned out, seeing Frankie's hole clench on his finger.

"Please...more." Gerard happily obliged, he put two more fingers in and started to message that spot inside Frankie, milking it for all it's worth.

It felt so good, Frankie's hips started moving, fucking themself on Gerard's fingers. "Shit Frankie." Gerard shoved his hands down his pants and started tugging at his cock, the sight he was blessed with was amazing.

Gerard vigorously work his finger into Frankie whilst jacking his dick. They were both really close, just needed a bit more.

"Gee, I'm gonna – fuck!" Was all the warning he got when Frankie's ass started to clench on his fingers and spurts of come started to shoot out of Frankie's dick.

They had come untouched and that fact sent Gerard over the edge, emptying himself in his palm and dirtying his pants. They both groaned and slumped down onto the bed.

The room was quiet, safe for their heavy breaths. Their minds high and full of blissful thoughts as they both float inside their own bodies. That was the best orgasm the two has ever had and they didn't even fuck.

"Holy shit, if I'd known it felt like _that_ I woulda shove my finger up my ass a long time ago."

Gerard chuckled, with great effort he crawl his way to slump back down next to Frankie. "Well now you could." Gerard pointed out, flicking the smaller's nose, them scrunching it as a result.

Gerard giggled and Frankie glared playfully at him. "Whatever, no – no I don't want to do it on my own now that I got you." Frankie said, surprisingly endearing.

Gerard rewarded them with a kiss and Frankie immediately went to deepen it. Their hands wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling them close. Their lips part with a soft sound and they spent minutes like that, just looking at each other's eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They know, that this maybe a great step forwards but that doesn't mean the storm had passed. No, only this one had and there are many a storm in their future. But there would be days where there's sunny skies up above them and they'd both bask in the sunlight. It doesn't matter either way to them, just as long as they could be there right next to one another, then they'd take on anything.


End file.
